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Answers:
you can use an ip scan tool to check who is on the make friends. the tools are
1 - angry ip scanner (your antivirus will see it immediately)
2 - GFi Languard web payment scanner (this much better and efficient).
to find out what they are looking at is for a moment wrong, but you can use any remote admin software like
1 - VNC Viewer
2 - remote admin
3 - GFI Web Monitor (for monitoring of Internet ).
..
I know you can look in the router for anyone connected to your lattice. If near are uninvited ppl, engineer sure you own AMC filter on and encryption on.